Hope
by Aeris22
Summary: Based on shortly after FMA and FMACOS  Only a few weeks after that day, winry finds out she's pregnant, with Edward Elric's child  Pinako dies shortly before the baby is born  Meanwhile back in our world Ed is having a breakdown, but he recovers from it


I held a hand to my abdomen, that cradled the most precious thing in my world. The last thing that Edward Elric gave me, a child to call my own. Grandma was of course against it.

" Winry, where is he? Why isn't he here?" I gazed out the window as she poked at me. " I still don't understand how it happened, he touched you and all of a sudden there was a child created. That can't be what happened, there has to be more Winry."

" There isn't, what I said was true. He had to leave and send some people home, like a true alchemist." " Winry, starting thinking about your future, with a baby you can't work. You will lose everything if you go through with this, I won't let you throw your life away for him, if he were here I'd sock him with my biggest wrench and knock some sense into him." I turned away and tinkered with a part I'd been working on for a month. " Grandma, I'm not going to lose everything, I'll be just fine, don't worry so much." " What about the military? They'll want the baby, you know that. Anything of Edward's is military property, including genetic items." " I know, but I'll protect it, no matter the cost."

* * *

><p>" Ed, is something wrong?" He was watching some kids playing outside. " I wonder if I'd make a good dad. Guess I'll never know. I hope you think of me Winry, because I think of you everyday." Al rose from his seat and put his arm around his brother.<p>

" Brother, I know it hurts, it hurts me too. I miss our old lives, sometime's I wonder if I should have stayed in the armor. You could've had your life, I would've still been 'd never had to lose Winry, or the family you could've had." Al began to cry, Ed hugged his brother. " Al, no. Don't ever think that, you know if that were the case, I'd still be looking for a way to give you back your body. I'd rather what we have now then lose everything."

Alphonse broke free of his brother, and went to his room. Ed stared at his door, tears in his eyes. " Al, I know it's my fault. I wish I could undo everything I've ever done, but I can't. And everyday I pay for it, knowing you should be home." He wandered to the sofa, and found his bottle of scotch. But he couldn't open it, something told him not to. " Al...I'm so sorry." He broke down and cried, the past haunted him since the day he cost his brother his body. It caused him great grief, and what's worse, the one person he needed could never help him. " Winry..."

* * *

><p>Six months now, it was hard to move around the shop, my protruding stomach knocking things over. " Winry, the doctor said you needed to rest." " Nonsense, I can still work on the auto-mail." Just as the words left my lips, I slipped and fell. My body racked with pain, Pinako heard the sound and raced for me. " Winry!" I couldn't move, for the baby's sake I couldn't. " Grandma, get the doctor." I cried for the baby and myself, I would never forgive myself if his child died from my stupidity. The hired hands raced in and lifted me to my bed. I hurt so much, the doctor was in shortly and he asked everyone to leave. " Miss Rockbell? What were you doing?" " I was working around the shop, I wasn't watching where I was going." A frown was on his face.<p>

" I asked you to rest, now if you don't, your baby may die." My eyes grew wide and filled with tears. " What?" " You body is weak now, and the baby is in danger of dying. You need to stay in bed, or lose you child." I began to cry, he patted my shoulder. " It's okay, I feel the baby will make it, but you need to stay in bed. I know this baby is importaint to you and you grandmother. It's Edward's isn't it?" " How did you know?" " I can feel it, I know he's vanished again, but that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. I hope you do well and the baby too, remember my orders and take care."

He left and Pinako rushed in. " What did he say?" " If I don't stay in bed, I'll lose it." She didn't cry, she just hugged me. " Winry, don't let it die." I could hear the sorrow in her voice. " I know I was hard on you for this, but I was wrong. It was meant as a gift, he knew what was going to happen so he left you with something most wonderful." She grew very quiet. " Winry, I should let you know, I won't be around much longer." My heart froze as the words left her mouth. " I'm dying dear, there's no denying it anymore. I have what they call cancer of the brain, I most likely won't be around for the baby's birth. I'm sorry Winry, I should have told you sooner, you seemed so happy, I didn't want to take that from you, but It seems I have to."

I began to cry, holding my belly close. My world had shattered once again. She put her arms around me and let me cry. " I'll be with you until end honey, no one but God can take me away from you. I'll always love you no matter what happens, know that now." She left the room and I sat in the bed, tears streaming down my cheeks. The picture on the end table drew my attention, it was the last time we were together before Ed left. Al was in the armor still, and Ed proudly showed his auto-mail. " Ed, I wish you were here with me."

* * *

><p>Ed suffered that breakdown for three months, Al continued to work and let his brother be. One day Ed came out of his room, tears down his face, eyes red. " Al, I'm so sorry." He dropped to his knees and cried, Al put down his case and got on the floor with him. " Ed, it's okay, I never blamed you, not once. Please stop crying Brother, it's gotta end now." He lifted Ed's face up and saw a glimmer in his eyes. " I know you can do it Ed, don't let the past break you." He turned away from Al, hiding the pain. " Brother, I wish I knew what to do, only Winry could help. I miss her."<p>

Al rose to his feet, brushed the dust off his pants and grabbed his case. " Ed, if your not better when I get home, I'll have to take you to the hospital. I don't know what to do anymore, I try and try and I get nowhere with you. It breaks my heart to know how much you hurt, and know I can't do anything to help you. I love you Ed, and we'll get through this somehow. Please don't make me Ed, I'll see you later." The door shut and Ed was alone again. He struggled to his feet, and looked into a mirror. He saw his hair was a mess, his eyes bloodshot and red, dark circles under his eyes, and he'd lost weight. He was light enough, but the weight he'd lost was too much. " What have I done to myself?" He saw total stranger in the mirror, not himself. He smashed the mirror with his left hand, making sure no shards hit the floor. He put a hand to his head, thinking of me. " Winry, what should I do?"

He walked to the sink, gazing out the window. He saw a little girl playing in the street with her friends. " I can't give up now." He went into his room and found some of his old clothes, from when he was sixteen, they fit better now that he was lighter. " I have lost weight, these were tighter last time, now they're baggy on me. I shouldn't have let this happen." He went into the bathroom and found his brush. " This is going to be hard."

He fought with his hair for an hour, but it was worth the pain. He was starting to look like himself, he could see it. The face that stared back at him looked like his own. His skin was pale as death and he could see his bones. " I look really bad, but my face is somewhat normal at least." He poked at his chest and could feel his ribs. " I need to eat something."

He raided the fridge and filled his face, leaving barely anything left. He wandered to the sofa and fell asleep.

Hours later Al came home. " Ed, I'm home." He noted the silence, and went to put his coat in the closet. As he closed the door, he saw Ed asleep on the sofa. The color retuning to his face and body, his hair neat and tied up. " He must've gotten hungry finally, good thing I'm off tomorrow. I need to do some shopping." Happy with himself he lifted Ed off the sofa with no problems and put him to bed. " I'm glad you're okay Brother, good night." As he shut the door, he didn't hear the words Ed had said. " Thank you Alphonse."

* * *

><p>It was one month away when Pinako died, she was working on an arm with me when it happened. The wrench in her hand hit the floor, and soon after she did too. The hired hands heard the thud and raced in, they saw my face and knew what had happened. One of them led me to my room while the other took care of her. A week later I had her buried, no services or anything. I was the only one there. " Grans, I miss you. I have no one left now, except you little one." I held my stomach and felt it kick. I walked home, never looking back. The hands had gone home for the day leaving the house to me, it was so quiet. " Wow, I never noticed how silent it was here." The tears began to well up as I passed Ed and Al's room, I stopped and opened the door. The beds were still the same way they were when they left, it was harder to hold back the tears. I could still hear them laughing, making fun of each other. I closed the door and headed for Gran's door. I tried but I couldn't open the door, it hurt too much. I wandered to my room and flopped on the bed, careful not to lay on my stomach. I cried myself to sleep, hoping the nightmare would end.<p>

_I could see someone holding flowers and a box of candy. " Hey, long time no see." It was Ed, wearing his trade mark smirk. " You've looked better Win, what did I do to you?" I could see the heartache in his eyes. " I'm sorry Ed." I hung my head and began to cry, he lifted my head and gazed into my eyes. " Winry, I never meant for this to happen, how can I ask you to forgive me?" He pulled me close, holding me tight. " I love you Win, remember that. I'll always be with you." As I opened my eyes he began to fade away. I grew scared as he left me, all alone. I heard a child's voice and there before me a little girl stood, with auto-mail just like Ed's. Her hair was tied up and golden, her eyes were ice blue and sun gold. She gave me a white rose, and smiled. " I love you mommy." Shock filled my body, was this girl our daughter? " Who are you?" She gave me a clue, her hand held a silver pocket watch. " You'll know soon enough." She smiled at me and walked away into the light._

It was dark, I remember where I was now. I was home in bed, all alone. I left the bed and headed for the kitchen, it hurt not seeing Pinako there. She was usally there woking on a part. I grabbed the jar of milk from the fridge and poured myself a glass, as I drank it a thought crossed my mind. The glass slipped from my hand and shattered as it hit the floor, it echoed through the whole house. Ed hated milk, he always did, he though I was nuts for drinking it. I fell to my knees and cried, it hurt so much. I had no one left to comfort me, or sooth me. " It's just you and me now, we're all we have." I was too tired to clean the glass up, I got up and went back to my room,

I changed into my nightgown and sat on the edge of the bed. I picked up the picture Pinako took of Ed and I when he wasn't looking, he fell asleep with his head on my lap. He'd been so tired after I tuned his auto-mail, he was smiling as he slept. I felt a little better gazing at the photo, knowing somewhere he was waiting for me. I fell asleep that night with a smile on my face and in my heart.

* * *

><p>" Ed, you look much better." Alphonse was proud of his brother, he'd gained back the weight and the bones were not visable anymore, his skin was a normal tone again, his eyes were gold again, not as bright as before though. The dark circles were gone too. " I'm glad Al, when I looked in the mirror, I hated what I saw. I saw a stranger looking back at me, I smashed the mirror and held my head. I thought of Winry and knew I had to stop before it was too late. I'm sorry I ever put you through that, I wish I'd known how much I'd been hurting you." They hugged. " Brother, no matter what you do, you know I'll always love you."<p> 


End file.
